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User talk:CliffShadow
Hey CliffShadow, this is the guy with whom you were discussing the Sion rework. I came up with a lore. It's about twice as long as is standard, so some serious trimming is needed, but I wanted to run it by you first to see what you think. I am thinking of cutting about 75% of the last paragraph, half of the second, and a few sentences of maybe the first and third. I also supplied two quotes at the end, because I wasn't sure which is better. If you don't have time, don't worry! I just wanted to get an opinion, because it's hard to write material for other people when you are the only one viewing it. I hope this isn't too annoying having a long post on your wall! If it bothers you, I will stop. Here begins the lore of Sion, Death's Vanguard “Ah, my succulent prey, how you all flee before my shadow like a pack of cattle to your holy barns of light. Wahahaha! I look forward to your frail flesh marinating in the despair to come, for as sure as the bell toll heralds dusk, shall you realize ‘ere mortality strikes: Even the light on the brightest of days must succumb to the night.” - Sion, Death's Vanguard The holy order of Demacia stretches across green pastures and verdant woods, a beacon of hope and promise of salvation for its citizens. Two devout parents presided as priests over their village’s religious matters, while lovingly watching over their child, Sion. They had high hopes Sion would one day take their place as caretakers of the local church. But fate set forth other plans on one bright, summer afternoon, as a diseased beggar cloaked in a blanket arrived praying for quarter. His feeble pleas died like a whisper in the air; his flesh was covered in boils, and his putrid filth soiled the ground he shambled over. Nevertheless, Sion’s parents charitably offered him solace, for they believed that acts of kindness paved the path to heaven. That night, Sion tossed and turned in a cold sweat, beset by nightmares of murderous torment and brutal human butchery. The next day, the beggar had vanished, and Sion discovered upon waking a pendant resting next to him, a ruby heart clasped in the decrepit fingers of a dull, green hand. Sion felt an insistent tug at his senses he could not explain. Donning it in secret, it lay hot upon his breast, as if it were branding the heart of its new owner. Little did the small child know, he had unwittingly accepted an unholy pact. Sion never spoke of the pendant to anyone, but no one else seemed to be aware it existed. It was as if the pendant were as invisible as an imaginary friend. As years went by, the formerly peaceful child grew restless. At first, Sion would hear strange murmurs, and his dreams were haunted by horrors he tried his best to forget the next day. By adolescence, each minute had become a steadfast struggle against intrusions into his reality: visions of walking murderers in the daylight and voices laughing at him from dark corners. Sion began having difficulty distinguishing between the real world and what should not have been. His parents noticed it in small steps, when he would burst out in moments of rage, or violently strike another child. They tried their best to curb these new impulses, yet soon resorted to prayers of desperation. For how could they have known of the powerful curse embattling Sion’s young soul, twisting it into madness? Their earthly worries would not trouble them much longer. A villager visited the church one morning to stumble upon the scene of a massacre. A profane collage of blood and gore desecrated the church, an unspeakable passing having befallen Sion’s parents. Sion was nowhere to be found. On this day, Sion sealed his servitude to the fell pendant. Fleeing wildly through the countryside and sleeping forlornly in the night, Sion felt his world slipping away. The horror of his actions awoke in him a furious denial. He blamed the church and his parents for not helping him when he needed it most, and he seethed over everyone else living each day so blissfully, unforgivably ignorant of how readily happiness can be lost forever to misery's seduction. As the madness swelled, Sion visited destruction upon more churches in retribution for his anger. Rather than sating his appetite for killing, Sion’s blood only boiled hotter for more. He began slaughtering entire villages, nourishing himself on the sweet bread of flesh and the intoxicating wine of blood, all to grant him an evening of respite from the torment of being alone with his wracked mind. The further Sion’s soul plunged into darkness, the greater his power ascended—and the brighter his pendant proudly shone. The depths of Sion’s decline blinded him to his physical changes. His flesh began to rot away, even as his soul grew fat on the spirits of the innocent. Like a wraith he stole across the countryside. By the time the Demacian military reacted, it was too late. Sion laughed at the resistance, and executed all opposition in vicious masterpieces of violence. His human reasoning abandoned, Sion had succumbed completely to his insane bloodlust. In a final bid to halt the terror, Jarvan III dispatched the elite Dauntless Vanguard. Sion clashed with the white steel of the Demacia's elite in one of the greatest carnages ever witnessed within Demacia’s borders—and the Dauntless Vanguard was brought to its knees, before a combined effort of Garen and Lux Crownguard managed to stave off the ravenous specter. His body destroyed and his powers waning, Sion fled pursuit to the vile Marshes of Khaladoun on the Eastern border of Demacia. As his knees buckled underneath him and he collapsed to the ground, he heard a familiar, rasping giggle. He could barely lift his head enough to see the repulsive beggar from his youth crouched before him. Sion instinctively reached for the ruby heart on his chest. The beggar’s hoarse chuckle swelled into a maniacal cackle, and in one sudden motion, he threw off his cloak in a twirl to reveal a grinning jester in his place, with a face white as ashes and lips permanently curved in a malicious leer. "Congratulations, Sion, on such a spectacular show," purred the jester, "better even than my wildest expectations. Come now, brother, our master wishes to impart you his blessing." The jester led him through the blighted marshes to an abandoned hideout of a cult of death-worshippers. The walls were adorned in a tapestry of blood, and in the center of a fey symbol on the floor knelt a massive, lifeless creature. Mesmerized by unspoken commands from his pendant, Sion numbly slid a bone knife in a line vertically along its heart, yielding a light ripping noise like cloth, deafening in the echoing silence of the chamber. Licking his knife clean, Sion removed his pendant and placed it within the creature’s empty heart cavity. Sion’s final breath rattled from between cracked lips, and the last remnants of the pride and hope of a pious couple passed away. The dark ritual complete, he reopened his eyes, lids heavier than before. He studied his hands, they were green and monstrous. His two legs creaked like tree trunks as they lifted him with a muscular power he had never experienced. A burgundy glow from the stone heart within his chest pierced through leathery skin, permanently casting his visage in an eerie light. From his side, he hoisted a savage axe the size of a bear. Blessed with a body—no, a war instrument—of greater power than ever, Sion embarked upon his most ambitious endeavor yet, a Magnum opus of bloody battles and ruthless deaths. Such a paradise exists in only one place: the League of Legends. Sion released a deep, rumbling laugh. The feeling of being set free of humane compulsions exhilarated him for the first time in years, vaguely reminiscient of a fresh breeze on a bright, summer afternoon. “When battling a rabid beast, some soldiers seek to empathize with its madness. They naively attempt to protect the creature, to nurture its sickly soul back to health. They are not wrong for treasuring life, but they would do better to remember the fear of death. For these soldiers often become the tasty snacks of a creature unconcerned with altruism; the only relief for a mind ravaged by insanity being a swift and final rest” – Garen Crownguard “Some seek to save a demented killer and guide him back to humanity, but a smart soldier recognizes when it’s best to cut one’s losses and put the tormented soul to a peaceful rest” – Garen Crownguard Note that the lore of Shaco doesn't need to be altered. The jester above may or not be Shaco; Shaco could be a renegade jester and maintain his own lore independent of Sion. The identity of the master isn't revealed. I know this lore is very dark, but Sion is a champion of death, after all. I hoped to create a more interesting character by attributing him a sinister intellect and religious devotion to evil, rather than the bumbling dope he is now, a persona that is about as plausibly threatening as one of Snow White's dwarves. If this is too brutal, I have another angle in mind for Sion that I can write up later. Blaisem (talk) 04:00, January 15, 2014 (UTC) (Edited some typos) I honestly don't mind reading your posts, I quite like reading books and such (particularly dark and/or mysterious subjects). And yeah, you could do with making it brief in various areas. You kept a lot of detail into the story and made sure there was little room for doubt other than where specifically wanted, but from the lore i've seen, they made it pretty brief with few paragraphs. "visions of walking murderers in the daylight" in the 2nd paragraph, does it mean that he saw murderers when he was out or did you mean something like, he'd see corrupted visions? Did he go around on his rampage barehanded and then get his axe or something along the lines of he rampaged with the axe and along with his dark rebirth, his axe had also transformed? Was the Garen and Lux thing also needed? It gives off an idea like, before he transformed he was able to fight them both at a somewhat equal footing and he'd mess them up even more after. As well as he can't be 1v1. Just something which I thought i'd bring up. I like the 2nd quote because of the killer part, as it feels more applicable rather than a beast. But it would be better to start it off with something like an novice soldier and an inexperienced solider. But I also liked that last line from the 1st quote. CliffShadow (talk) 09:49, January 15, 2014 (UTC) Alright, I'll change visions to illusions/mirages and try to trim it down anyways as planned. I didn't plan on defining his weapon before his transformation, but rather that he obtained it as part of his transformation; the body was meant for him, and the weapon belonged to that body. But I can see that someone might be looking for that detail of his weapone early in the story. It's hard, because Riot has set a tradition with their lore writings where they aren't very subtle in tying details between a champion's lore and in-game design. Then I think it becomes expected to look for these correlations right at the outset when reading lore. It's a stylistic attention to detail that I have to adjust to. I tend to wrap myself up in the details of the story itself and am more likely to not value and instead gloss over the reader's expectations. As far as the fight, Garen could have 1v1'd Sion with a clear advantage, but Garen could not risk holding back any strength in doing so. Lux was there to help because J3 just wanted to be certain, so he sent out both, and it makes sense that Lux also hated Sion for destroying so many symbols of light, so she probably wanted to come. Most 1v1s result in a standoff in the lore, but in this case Sion got rocked hard and had to flee, exactly because it was 1v2. He was essentially bleeding to death, and the jester saved him at the final precipice. After Sion's transformation, he would of course bring Garen to his utmost limits, just like in all the lores. I'll probably for simplicity just remove Lux unless I can tie in her lore somehow with the light to Sion's. The whole idea with the quotes using beast was to refer to Sion as sort of a rabid animal in battle, filled with rage to kill everything in sight more than being a calm presence on the battlefield. It was a general quote indirectly referencing Sion, kind of like the traditional Chinese quotes, for example in Disney's Mulan, where when the emperor is threatened to bow or be killed, he states, "No matter how the wind blows, the mountain cannot bend." But...given that it's Garen, I can see a direct reference being more fitting of his character, not to mention most likely easier to comprehend given players expectations thus far of Riot's blunt writing style. Thanks for the feedback, and let me know if anything else occurs to you. I'll work on some changes in the coming days! Blaisem (talk) 13:24, January 15, 2014 (UTC) Well, good luck. It was a pretty interesting read and I honestly enjoyed throwing some ideas for your sion rework idea. CliffShadow (talk) 17:07, January 15, 2014 (UTC) Ok! I got another rough draft! It's about as long as the Olaf lore, within 20-30 words. I had some inspiration to take it in a different direction. I hope you enjoy! When your goal is to attain ultimate power, you must be willing to sacrifice everyone else. - Sion, Death's Vanguard If you’ve ever wondered how far greed and betrayal can bring you, look no further than Sion. Considered a peerless warrior in his Noxian military unit, he single-handedly smashed through enemy ranks like a battering ram. The respect from his comrades stemmed from more than just awe; mixed into it was a generous helping of fear. Although Sion slicing through foes was enough to inspire terror in anyone, the effect was amplified after the fight, when he would rub the blood of the fallen over his skin in a gruesome ritual of death. This ritual is the hallmark of a death cultist, a killer who steals lives, offering them up to the Death god for a blessing of power. Sion had reaped great rewards under Death’s patronage. Yet the forces of light are not easily subdued. During one month of raids into Demacian territory, Sion noticed his powers gradually weakening. He began to suffer wounds on the battlefield from blows that normally could not scratch him, and against a renewed onslaught by the enemy, he no longer had the strength to cleave them asunder with his mighty axe. Confused, Sion raged in frustration. In a desperate appeal to Death's favor, he returned to a battle site the following morning to perform his blood ritual a second time. There, in the gloomy dawn fog, he witnessed Soraka, the Starchild, intercepting and restoring all the lost souls to their bodies, nurturing their broken bodies back to health. All of Sion’s sacrifices to Death, the source of his power, were being undone by Soraka! Sion assaulted the Starchild like a frenzied beast. Her body surrounded in golden light, Soraka’s protective magic thwarted Sion’s blows aside. She drew upon her celestial might and crushed Sion into the ground with the force of stars. She abstained from finishing him out of respect for life. Even the wisdom of the stars can sometimes make mistakes. Returning disgraced to his temple’s altar in Noxia, he demanded Death grant him the strength to defeat this heroic adversary. A hollow chuckle echoed in his mind, and Sion cleverly realized what must be done. If Soraka were unassailable, then he needed to locate a new source of sacrifices outside her protection. Sion turned to his fellow death-worshippers, his military comrades, and nearby Noxian villages, and he butchered their bodies in the ultimate ritual of death. The slaughter numbered in the thousands, as Sion mercilessly cut down every living being he could find for weeks on end. As torrents of blood bathed him in all their glory, saturating the soil beneath his feet with crimson nourishment, his powers quickly returned''—''and soared even higher than before. His muscles and bones swelled with dark magic, bulging in huge, grotesque shapes. Commensurate with his performance, Death imparted Sion his greatest blessing, anointing him as his Champion on the mortal plane and emblazoning a black skull on his chest. This enabled Sion to wield the magic of the Death god like a conduit. They say once you’ve traded your soul for power, you’ll do anything to keep that power forever. Driven to fulfill Death’s insatiable appetite for souls, Sion's new quest was to snuff out all life in Runeterra. The meager sport of human lives no longer brought satisfaction; instead, he planned to first claim Soraka’s vibrant life for her opposition to Death, followed by the most powerful souls of Valoran. He eagerly set his course for the League of Legends, and vowed that life in Valoran would never be the same. Obsession is the most terrifying form of insanity, because it abandons rational thinking in all thoughts but one, in order to apply the purest of rational thinking to that single thought—a sole compulsion guided by cunning calculations, mechanical in efficiency and relentless in execution. I fear no warrior motivated by reasonable passions, but Sion’s obsession with extinguishing life from Valoran…yes, I fear that. – Soraka, the Star Child '' Blaisem (talk) 20:36, January 23, 2014 (UTC) That was a pretty interesting read. I liked how you were able to introduce a new character into his lore, and it also gives a way for new characters based off of the dead to come in (if there was a need). Just a question, but the magic he weilds would be the Q of his present state and strength, LS and the such / strength, power to use the dead for his shield and such? And the quotes were pretty unique, did you make them yourself? Its pretty impressive, particularly that Soraka one. Quite deep. CliffShadow (talk) 21:35, January 23, 2014 (UTC) '''Quotes' Your words make me blush :) The quotes are all from me. I tried this time to make Sion's quote rough and simple, while Soraka, being aeons-old, would have the sophistication to formulate a more elaborate and insightful quote. Introducing a new character There's definitely room for tying in with other characters! Death is supposed to be a deity, but that's not to say he could not influence others, like perhaps be the driving force behind Shaco, or the one who caused Karthus's transformation. He could become an abstract force in the power struggle of Runeterra, kind of like Jarvan III or General Du Couteau of Noxus. If it were fun, of course he could also be a playable champ. Sion's Power I had a little trouble in both stories defining the "power" Sion gains, so that you can relate it to his kit. On the one hand, there's an ability aspect ie. his shield, his ult etc that he receives from death. On the other, there is a physical aspect that is a result of his oversized body and inhuman muscular development. Technically, though, even the physical form is a byproduct of his gift of power from stealing others souls, so I don't even know if differentiating is necessary. I think it all depends on how compatible the lore is with his kit concept. I can either adapt the lore to the kit conceptually, or I can adapt the kit conceptually to the lore. It's probably easier to just adapt the kit to the lore. I can make his shield a wall of souls as you suggested, his ult's lifesteal is based around stealing souls, etc. However, the whole lore theme that he is bloodthirsty and gains power from consuming others is something that I would like to hold onto, as its compability with his kit goes beyond conceptual, and actually correlates well with the effect of each ability. I mean, the idea that he gains stats for killing units, that he can buff his lifesteal, that he is all about hewing down his opponents is reflected really well by his abilities' effects. My Questions So, if I may ask: What story do you prefer? Are there elements of one that you wish were in the other? Or should I hit the drawing board again? I kind of like the whole writing thing, especially when I have such an agreeable audience! Blaisem (talk) 00:58, January 24, 2014 (UTC) Let's see, I think I prefer this one to the other one. I think the corrupt becomes even more corrupt fits him to a degree. There's no particular elements I think you need to add, but you could interchange Death in the second one for the monster in the first one if you need to. Sion could've been worshipping Death but in his brutal rampage, saw the true form and gained powaaaaa! or something like that. EDIT : Forgot to add my sginature CliffShadow (talk) 08:31, February 1, 2014 (UTC) Hello CliffShadow, I wanted to ask you which server are you in, if you don't mind telling me. Regards. MegaMege (talk) 23:38, February 2, 2014 (UTC)MegaMege Yo, I play on EUNE. Though i'm planning on stopping League once I go for further studies and most of my friends playing League either leaving or going to other games :/ CliffShadow (talk) 00:21, February 3, 2014 (UTC) Oh I see, that's truly a shame though! Well thank you for your answer. MegaMege (talk) 00:42, February 3, 2014 (UTC)MegaMege